That one month I really hated my neighbours

We live is a nice sitesi/residence, with a few buildings, where for a reasonable monthly fee we get to enjoy different advantages of a residential compound, such as security, cleaning/maintance, a nice yard with a playground, and all possible shops and services located on the ground floors. Here, you can find  hairdresser, laundry, dentist office, few grocery stores, some textile shops, a pastane with delicious cakes and çay/kahve… Well, you get the picture.

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It is (or it used to be) very quiet, except maybe for a few things – young ladies walking their barking dogs in the yard in the morning, teyzeler exchanging latest news across the corridors during, and an occasional child crying at night or riding his/her loud-ish bicycle  early Sunday morning. I’d get annoyed with this children sometimes, especially if their parents drop them off their grandmother’s place, who happen to be my neighbour across the hall, and she would decide to punish her grandson by switching off WIFI at home and he would ring our door on the weekend to ask for a password :D Adorable, right? So, I’d get annoyed but it would quickly pass, and as long as I don’t live in a penthouse on a 25th floor somewhere, I can’t complain.

Until 1 month ago the horror began… 

All of a sudden we started to hear a variety of loud noises at difference times of the day from the apartment above ours. At first it would happen one-two times per week, and the noises included a very loud lovemaking at night,  VERY loud bathroom/shower noises at 2-3 am and VERY VERY loud cleaning late in the evening, and by cleaning I mean knocking hard with a mop against the floor as if the floor did something really bad and had to be punished. Believe me when I say that all of the noises were almost impossible to ignore, but we did, thinking that these people – or I’d rather call them The Monsters – just moved in (assuming also the apartment was really dirty and also that it was not so long after The Monsters’ wedding) and decided to wait it out.

But it only got worse. One night The Monsters had a really awful fight, the woman was screaming so loud that we called security and security called police but when they arrived, The Monsters became very quiet, opened the door and said that the noise was not coming from their flat and they were simply watching a movie. But we didn’t believe them, of course, the screams were coming from above our ceiling and were complemented by heavy foot stepping and running on the floor and a female screaming “don’t touch me” and “leave me alone!”. I bet even a 5D movie would not provide such special effects for the neighbours.

Then, one week later the cleaning and the lovemaking sounds started to repeat every freaking day. On top of it, The Monsters, or specifically The Monstr-ess seemed to be walking mostly in her shoes at home making “clack” noises, which started to drive me crazy, and made me think about the Chinese water torture.

I wondered whether the lady upstairs was a germaphobe – I’ve seen a few programs on TV about these people and how they simply can’t stop cleaning. But on other days I imagined her to be a very clean and neat housewife and so I would jump off the couch and right away do some cleaning at home too.

****

One day, waking up on Sunday because of a reaaaaally long “OOOHHHHHH AHHHHHH”  moans from upstairs, I actually considered ordering a mouth gag online and then leaving it at their door anonymously for the Valentine’s day, hoping that the woman would – fortheloveofgod – shut up. Then I considered writing them a big letter, explaining my daily miseries in detail, but my Turkish is not good enough, so the idea of making them shed a tear, feel ashamed and move out was unfeasible.

Later that  day (after they have EXTENSIVE cleaned the apartment again), they were having a party, making it sound as if 15 people were jumping at the same time on my head, or at least as if there was some ritual dancing involved. Going upstairs didn’t help, since they didn’t answer the door, but the noise  stopped which was nice. The next morning, my boyfriend went there again, only to find a very young couple in there, in their early 20s, who apologised for the noise over and over, and said they had no idea it was so loud for us. Also, the apartment seemed almost empty with only a few furniture items, and even without a dining table (or any table for that matter), so I assumed they were students and questioned myself on why would they want to live here, while there are so many other affordable options in the area with the furniture and THICKER walls.

Then, for a week it was almost quiet and even for a few days there was no vacuuming noise. I was happy. I was en-joy-ing the quiet, feeling like the “Eat. Pray. Love” lady in a meditation room in India.

Two days ago they were having a loud party again, and by loud I mean their talking and music was louder then our TV, and especially after midnight it was really difficult to tolerate. Again, they didn’t open the door but turned the music down, which was all I needed. In the morning, my boyfriend went upstairs again to talk, and to our surprise there was a different man, an older one, who simply said:

“Sorry I’m leaving now to give the keys back, I just stayed for the night so I think you need to speak with the owner”. Ta-DA-DA-DA! The moment of truth!

Now when you know that the apartment was rented out for a month almost every day to different people, you can re-read the story and laugh REALLY loud. Anyway, at least that was exactly what I did.

Turns out the owner gave this apartment to the real estate agency to sell, but these smart people decided to make some extra cash in the meantime, but since we found a way to notify him, I guess the agency will get into a big trouble now.

***

Ah, and to my relief the germophobe turned out to be a cleaning lady.

Because nobody cleans THAT much on their free time.

***

The End.


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